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Crazy Stories About Your Ride On The Bus Today!'s Journal

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13th April 2006

celluloid_jam6:41pm: I get on the bus. The #26 from Downtown to Greenlake in Seattle, if you care. Bus takes me half way to where I need to go before I am the only person on the bus. A while later, about 4 stops away from my connecting stop, the bus driver pulls over and tells me, "I'm going to the store real quick." He then gets off of the bus, ambles across the street and down the block, into the convenience store.

I say loudly, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Because my connecting bus (The #16 to Northgate) is always right on the ass of this bus. I get off and head toward the bus stop. My bus zooms by. Luckily(?) there were 2 guys in wheelchairs waiting at the bus stop, so it took him a while to load them up. They knew each other and neither one of them could speak very well, so they were making (I wish I was making this up) coughing and snorting noises at each other. Spitting and hawking up nasty stuff in the process.

Finally, the man sitting in the window seat directly in front of me said to the pseudo gangsta girl next to him, "excuse me," so that he could get off of the bus. She didn't move, so he shot her a well-deserved nasty look, and squeezed his fat ass past her - while his jeans began to drop and his monstrous and harry buttcrack was inches from her face.



Seriously though.


Current Mood: aggravated

25th March 2005

pomorobo12:35am: Join WRATEMYWRECK

20th March 2005

gomezticator2:37pm: Crying without end
So Friday night I'm catching the 522 in Seattle to Lake City to go home. I get on at the last stop on 5th and Pike with several other people, including this quiet Dave Chappelle look-alike in a black hoodie.

I took a window seat near the back of the bus. As we're closing in on I-5 I hear some sniffling, and then what sounds like laughing. I should say crying, but it sounded more like laughing than crying; the only thing that indicated it was crying was the sniffling that came with it.

I don't want to turn around and stare but I look through the reflection in my window and indeed, it's the DC lookalike sobbing alone in his seat. Now, I'm sure someone on the bus cries over something every so often, so this alone isn't a big deal.

But usually the crying happens for a little bit, maybe 5 minutes, and then the person calms down. But this guy's crying kept going and going, and then it got louder. Crying became wailing cries of, "WHYYYYY GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Everyone else on the bus, just as unwilling to look as I was, started getting real uncomfortable. My stop was the very first stop after the 7 mile ride down I-5 and Lake City Way, a 25 minute commute, but this bus was going all the way to Woodinville, another 7-8 miles down the road, and I saw this guy pay a 2-zone fare, so he was in for the haul.

And a scary thing: while waiting at 5th and Pike this guy gave NO indication that he was upset or crestfallen. It led me to sordidly wonder throughout the ride if this was all an act, or a symptom of mental illness.

His wailing quickly escalated into Kabuki Exposition Theatre. WHY GOD WHY YOU GOTTA KEEP TAKIN PEOPLE FROM ME WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! He wouldn't look up and yes, it occured to me early on that maybe somebody oughtta throw the guy a kleenex at least, but the sheer rising, almost volcanic intensity of his crying had to dissuade even the kindest soul on the bus from even thinking about it.

He calmed down, head buried on his hoodie sleeves against the back door exit rail by the time we reached my stop... or so I thought: as I stepped off and the doors shut, another pained wail came from the back of the bus.

I'm glad I don't live in the suburbs.

1st January 2005

wardrich6:11am: Well, this happened to me on the Train, but it's still a good story.
Okay, so I'm from Ontario, and I was heading into Toronto (like 30min from my place).  I had to take the train since I don't have my license, and nobody at the time had a car.  The trip up was average, nothing significant happened.  It was the trip home that makes this story what it is.

Okay, so we all board the train and get to our seats.  (I was with like 4 or 5 of my friends).  Shortly after the train starts moving, a man kinda hobbles into the car I'm in.  He's definitely not all there (mentally handicapped), and he gives me a glance.  I freeze.  He starts comming closer to me.

The man hobbles over to me then stops.  I'm still petrified, though him stopping slightly relaxes me.  The man then continues to hobble toward me to which he gives me a HUGE drooling hug.  I've been in some scary positions before, but this time I could feel my jaw drop and my eyes shoot open.  I'm kinda hoping that one of my friends would do something, but alas, they're equally stunned and fighting laughter.

So after recieving this hug, which felt like forever though it was probably only a few seconds, the man backs away a bit.  I'm thinking "Relief at last."  Boy am I wrong.  He approches me again, this time to shake my hand.  He reaches out his hand, and I cautiously reach mine out too.  I mean, I can't just ignore the guy; pretend he's not there.  Unforetunatly, I'm not cautious enough.  The man manages to change his grip so that he's firmly squeezing my hand, then it was as though he was trying to kiss my hand.  I use all my might to resist him.  He was impressively strong and put up a good fight, however I 'won'.  I use won lightly, since he eventually started rubbing his face on my hand like a cat would rub its paw on its face.  Once he does this three or four times, he lets go and steps back again.

FINALLY, I thought to myself.  The man hobbles toward the door to go into the next car.  Just before he opened it, he turns around and sticks out his hand and makes a fist.  He wanted 'props' so I gave it to him.  Then he left.  That was the last time I saw him (thank goodness)

And that's my story.  If you don't believe the validity of it, show symptoma this story and I'm sure he can explain it from his Point of View.


4th December 2004

impygimpy6:19pm: WOW! So I have a GREAT story to tell you all!

I'm waiting for bus number fifteen. la dee dah.

there is this guy beside me and two other older (not stable) women sitting on the actual cove for the wait. The guy and I are standing next to the Kinkos. The guy starts looking at me and telling me the grossest, nastiest story EVER!

he says, "man, I just got back from the bathroom."

I just sorta nod...*ahh*

man: "everything I eat...just turns to water."

me: *shudder but smile because I am trying to hold back massive laughter*

man: "yeah, I eat something tacky in the mouth, comes out just like water."

me: *dying inside*

man: "My bottom is sooo sore!"

me: *oh my God*

man: "On top of that, I have hemroids. That doesn't help anything!"

me: *at this point Im' about to fall on the gross ground dying of pure laughter and pure disgustedness*

man: "If this doesn't stop, i'm gonna have to go bakc to the hospital."

oh how i love waiting for the bus.
Current Mood: dirty

3rd December 2004

impygimpy8:16pm: You know what I'm REALLY FUCKING SICK OF!? Asshole bus drivers who have some sort of large stick up their asses! You ask them how long they will be laying over (simply so you know when you'll get home) and they actually swear at you and say something along the lines of it not being my business. Tell me?...how is that topic NOT my business?! Or when they layover and they get out...it's winter time out...12 degrees out...they leave to get their snakc or bathroom break...and DON'T LET YOU IN! What..do they think I'm going to hot wire the goddamn bus and take it on a joyride?? They just love to have that power trip..control over us or something, I swear. So, I stand outside, freezing my fucking tail off while they take their jolly ass time in the building where it's nice and warm. Gee...would it be so much to ask if I could at least sit on the damn thing?!

Next time I post, I'm sure it'll be about the smelly funk on the bus!
Current Mood: frustrated
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